Gambling Addiction Q&A
with author Mary Sojourner
Have a question about gambling addiction you'd like Mary to address? Send your questions to shebetsherlife@gmail.com, and they may be posted and discussed here on the site. (Names will not be included with questions posted. Please note that due to volume, not all questions can be addressed.)
Question:
I gamble every few weeks. I didn't think anything of it, but the other day I found a bunch of ATM withdrawal slips all with the same date. I blew $460 in one night. I suspect I might have a problem. How do I know if I'm a gambling addict?Answer:
Check out the chapter “Crossing the Line: How a Woman Knows She's Hooked” in She Bets Her Life: A True Story of Addiction. I began to suspect I was in trouble when I realized that I didn't seem to be able to leave the casino while I was ahead, and I played down to the last penny I had available. For more information, also visit Gamblers Anonymous’ 20 Questions.Question:
We think my older sister might be a gambling addict. We've tried to talk with her. What can we do?Answer:
One of the hardest facts to face is that most addicts don't change their behavior until they, themselves, hit bottom. You and your family will need support as you move through what will very likely be a challenging time. The chapter “It's a Family Affair” in She Bets Her Life will provide you with a wealth of resources and support, and check out Gamblers Anonymous—they will give you some basic information. Question:
Why is She Bets Her Life written primarily for women?Answer:
This is my favorite question! For one, I wrote She Bets Her Life for myself—and I'm a woman and a hard-core slot machine gambling addict. The first time I tried to quit in the late nineties, I went into what I was sure was early dementia. A wiser part of me knew I was in withdrawal. When I tried to find information on gambling addiction withdrawal, I could find nothing. In 2008 I finally stopped gambling, and I knew I needed to write the book I wanted to read.I researched for months and the information I found convinced me that many women—especially slot players—come to gambling addiction from histories and needs very different from male gamblers'. I remembered my first women's support group and how everyone of us had been and/or currently were the primary caregivers in our families and with our friends. Each of us said, "The only time that's my own is when I'm in front of the slot machine screen. Nobody's the boss of me then!"
I loved writing “Girls’ Night In,” the chapter in She Bets Her Life that focuses on how women's roles and gender training can easily shape the behavior and thinking of a woman gambling addict, because I was able to blend the voices of many women, young and old, rich and poor, from different ethnicities and backgrounds.
Question:
Why is gambling addiction so serious? Why not focus on drug addiction, relationship addiction, eating disorders, or alcoholism?Answer:
The suicide rate is higher for gambling addiction than any other addiction, and it is much harder to stay clean with gambling addiction than any other addiction. The recidivism rate for compulsive gambling is higher than for any other addiction. I was never suicidal—I grew up with a suicidal mother so suicide is NEVER an option for me—but it took me at least a decade to stop gambling because I'd decide I could try it one more time. And I know that my abstinence today is only for today. This is a tricky tricky addiction.Resources
Gamblers Anonymous
Gam-Anon
National Council on Problem Gambling
Women Helping Women
Victoria Gamblers Anonymous
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